Hiding

My guard is up and you won’t catch me out

I cannot fail if I don’t play the game

I mustn’t let you know what I’m about

 

Why would I risk you seeing my self-doubt,

Inadequacy, fearfulness and shame?

My guard is up and you won’t catch me out

 

I’ve learned to hide my shyness with a shout

Of wild defiance, though in truth I’m tame

I cannot let you know what I’m about

 

I feign a fearless boldness as I flout

This fake insouciance, I know it’s lame

But still, I must not let you catch me out

 

I keep myself concealed behind this stout

Defence where I’m protected from your blame

I will not let you know what I’m about

 

I’m lonely though, and I’m beset by doubt

I feel as though I’ve shrivelled to my name

And sometimes now I wish you’d catch me out

So that I won’t forget what I’m about

 

 

Yes, yet another villanelle.  I do like them.  Please note: the “I” here is not me.  The last time I posted a first-person poem I got sympathy comments!  Regards, Peter

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